I Like Boy Abunda In "The Buzz" .. But Not In Government, For Crying Out Loud!

I'm beginning to believe that his "Pycho Exam" issue is all true after watching an interview with president-apparent Noynoy Aquino via TFC, i immediately turn my laptop on and tell myself, i must blog this!

He disclosed that he was considering giving Boy Abunda a government post, possibly as Cabinet Secretary or a lower post.

Aquino pointed out that Abunda, a product of Ateneo, has a master's degree in international relations, which could be used to market the Philippines.

"From a marketing perspective...things that you would want to market the Philippines," he told reporters in an interview at his residence in Quezon City.

Asked if he would give a rank of Secretary to Abunda, Aquino said, "That's possible or lower, USEC or ASEC also (undersecretary o assistant secretary) also."

Asked again why he would like the TV host in his government, Aquino said, "Totoong kausap yan. Walang agenda other than what he will publicly say. Tapos pwedeng pagkatiwalaan ng buo (He’s sincere. He has no agenda other than what he will publicly say. And you can trust him completely).”

But Aquino sees one problem in getting the services of Abunda – the compensation
in government.

He said the pay is too small compared to what the TV host is earning now.

"Ang problema dun (the problem is), how much does Boy Abunda make a week? How much is his salary in a year in government? Tapos pag cabinet position, he has to divest pa (in a cabinet position, he still has to divest)," Aquino pointed out, explaining that in a cabinet post, Abunda would have to divest some of his properties and be criticized.

..whoa! what I though was once a joke might just be a reality... Sige go! What else is new? All the more I wanna leave my country give the chance.

For what? Depatment of Gay Affairs maybe?

Why not? Go for broke.. What is there to lose nga naman if all is lost? ( of course I am exaggerating due to intense frustration with the Filipino people ). So I guess every Tomas, Pedro and Juan with a masters degree now qualifies to serve a high position in the government. This is essentially why I do not want to read or watch the news. My faith in my people ebbs.

*sighs*

I Love My Job, Its The Work I Hate

I’m gonna warn you up front, this story is a bit gross..so if i you find it unappealing forget about reading this entry.

The star of this story isn't me; it's a friend of mine. He's name is Bobet. I was chatting with him over Blackberry Messenger this morning and he shared me one hell of a story about his recent trip to Amsterdam.

Him and a group of our common friends went there for a convention cum holiday trip doing all the standard things people do in Amsterdam - hitting the “coffee shops,” the Van Gogh museum, and ultimately a sex show.

Now, this wasn't your standard sex show. In fact, there was no sex at all. It featured a well-past-her-prime woman who would lie down onstage and challenge members of the audience to try and shit on her face for 50 euros. Yes, shit in her face. If successful, you won a cash prize.

Paying over 100 American dollars to try and defecate on this haggard creature in front of a crowd of drunk weirdoes sounded like a punishment to me. Not Bobet. Knowing him, he's a person who always likes a challenge. So he handed over his 50 euros and dropped trow. Alas, with the combination of unanticipated stage fright and the woman blowing air from her mouth directly on his asshole, shitting was impossible. Bobet failed. In fact, all the challengers failed that evening.

The rest of our friends thought it was a hilarious adventure. But Bobet was pissed. He wanted a rematch. To prepare for the ensuing battle, he spent the whole next day stockpiling ammunition by constantly eating olives and nuts and pounding red wine like he was the second coming of Bacchus.

When they returned to the show the following day he was buckling over in pain he had to shit so bad. Finally the big moment came, Bobet's rematch..tandadaraaannn!

Onstage, he could barely get his pants off because his bowels were so pent up. The woman does this for a living; she could clearly tell what was happening inside Bobet's tummy. She calmly braced herself as…

Bobet unleashed a devastating fury of diarrhea into this poor woman's face! Come to think of it, it's horrifying. The woman stoically got up and walked off stage. Bobet had won, though he said he didn’t look overjoyed. Now he wanted to apologize to the woman. The woman had a shockingly pragmatic attitude about the whole thing. She explained that she makes a lot of money for only 30 minutes of work a night, and about once a week, someone actually shits in her face. Then she takes a shower and goes home.

I learned something from that small conversation and story i had over at BBM with my friend. In a way, aren't most jobs worse than that? We're all proverbially shit-on, stabbed in the back, overworked and underpaid at work, but for most people it's not something you can easily wash off with soap and it happens far more than once a week.

So learn to appreciate and love your job, even if its the work you hate, feel lucky that you not getting shit on your face, literally :D

An Open Letter To Noynoy Aquino

Dear Noynoy,

You are now swamped with suggestions and advice (well, even by the Jejemon's and Non-Jejemons, in social networking sites and the likes) but just the same, I hope you’ll have time to read what this Filipino working-class hero has to say.

You were not my choice in the last election but since our people have spoken, we must now support you and pray that you prevail. But first, I must remind you of the stern reality that your drumbeaters ignore: you have no noble legacy from your forbears. It is now your arduous job to create one yourself in the six years that you will be the single most powerful Filipino. Six years is too short a time — the experience in our part of the world is that it takes at least one generation — 25 years — for a sick nation to recover and prosper. But you can begin that happy process of healing.

Bear in mind that the past weighs heavily on all of us because of the many contradictions in it that we have not resolved, whose resolutions would strengthen us as a nation. This past is now your burden, too. Let us start with the fact that your grandfather collaborated with the Japanese. Your father was deeply aware of this, its stigma, its possibilities. He did not leave any legacy because he did not become president. He was a brilliant and courageous politician. He was an enterprising journalist; he had friends in journalism who can attest to his effulgent vision, but i guess im still too young to name a few, i assume you know most of them.

Forgive me for giving you this unsolicited advice. First, beware of hubris; you are surrounded by panderers who will tell you what is nice to hear. You need to be humble always and heed your conscience. When Caesar was paraded in ancient Rome before the cheering multitudes, there was always a man chanting behind him: “Remember, you are mortal.”


I say to you, remember, the poor — some of them in your own hacienda — will be your ultimate judge.

From your comfortable and privileged cocoon, you know so little of our country and people. Seek the help of the best — and the best do not normally want to work in government and neither will they approach you. You have to seek them.

Be the revolutionary your father wanted to be and don’t be scared or wary of the word “revolution.” It need not be always bloody. EDSA-1 was not. Your father wanted to destroy the most formidable obstacle to our progress — the Oligarchy to which you and your family belong. To succeed, you have to betray your class. If you cannot smash the oligarchy, at least strive to have their wealth develop this country, that they bring back the billions they stashed abroad. You cannot do this in six years, but you can begin.

Prosecute the crooks. It is difficult, thankless and even dangerous to do this. Your mother did not do it — she did not jail Imelda who was the partner in that conjugal dictatorship that plundered this nation. Watch her children — they were much too young to have participated in that looting but they are heirs to the billions which their parents stashed abroad. Now the Marcose's are on the high road to power, gloating, snickering at our credulity and despicable amnesia.

You know the biggest crooks in and out of government, those powerful smugglers, thieves, tax cheats — all you really need is guts to clobber them. Your father had lots of it — I hope he passed on to you most of it.

And most of all, now that you have the muscle to do it, go after your father’s killers. Blood and duty compel you to do so. Cory was only his wife — you are the anointed and only son. Your regime will be measured by how you resolve this most blatant crime that robbed us of a true leader.

And, finally, your mother. We loved her — she united us in ousting an abominable dictator. But she, too, did not leave a shining legacy for her presidency was a disaster. She announced a revolutionary government but did nothing revolutionary. She promised land reform but did not do it. And most grievous of all — she transformed the EDSA-1 revolution into a restoration of the oligarchy.

She became president only because her husband was murdered and you became president elect only because your mother died. Still, you are your father’s son and may you now — for the good of this country and people — scale the heights he and your mother never reached.

At my age, I despair over how three generations of our leaders failed! Before I close, please let me and the rest of our fellow Filipino's see this unhappy country begin to be a much better place than the garbage dump our leaders and people have made it. You can be this long awaited messiah but only if you are brave enough and wise enough to redeem your father’s aborted promise.

Hopefully yours,
Rhodel Flores Dela Ysla
Overseas Foreign Worker in Singapore

All Philippine Languages Are Chavacano

In my quest to further educate myself in my roots as a Filipino, and in the spirit of patriotism (naks!) i have gathered some useful information over the ever-reliable Google search engines and Wikipedia about the origins of Philippine lingo'. Its my day-off, my God-given day of rest.. i woke up this morning feeling sluggish and decided to stay in bed a little bit more ending up writing this entry :D

I may not be an official linguist (yet?), but I strongly declare that ALL PHILIPPINE LANGUAGES (except, perhaps, the northernland languages –spoken by tribes that were not Christianized/Hispanized– such as the ones used by Mañguianes and Igorotes) ARE SPANISH CREOLE LANGUAGES… at varying degrees. To some considerable extent, there would be no Tagalog, Cebuano, Ilocano, etc. if they weren’t formed or moulded by the Spanish language.

Obviously, the closest local language to Spanish is Chavacano. Next in line, I believe, was Tagalog. A long time ago, Tagalog had so many Spanish words in it. But Tagalog puristas murdered the language a few decades ago. What we have now is a f*cked up pidgin called Taglish/Engalog, an offshoot of a non-sensical Abakada Tagalog.

If my observation is correct, I think Hiligaynón comes next.
And so on and so forth.
Due to the more than three centuries of Spanish colonization, the local Philippine languages had the benefit of acquiring new words and concepts from the Spanish language. Here are a few examples (local words and their Spanish derivatives):

abandonada (Tagalog) — abandonado, abandoned
abugado — abogado, lawyer
almusal — almorzar, to eat lunch
bulto (Tagalog and Visaya/Cebuano de Bohol) — bulto, bulk
Camarines (Norte, Sur,) — camarín, storage house, dressing room
choriso — chorizo, sausage
diyos — dios, god
dolyar — dólar, dollar
espada — espada, sword
hamon — jamón, jamonado, ham, bacon
imbestigador — investigador, investigator
kabayo — caballo, horse
krus — cruz, cross
kusina — cocina, to cook
kuwaderno — cuaderno, notebook
lantad — adelantar, to advance, to go up the stage
lapis – lápiz, pencil
milyon — millón, million
Miyerkules — miércoles, Wednesday
pader — pared, wall
pamilya — familia, family
petsa — fecha, date
relo — relój, watch
sibuyas — cebollas, onion
sundalo — soldado, soldier
telepono — teléfono, telephone
trabaho — trabajar, to work
ubas — uvas, grapes
uniporme — uniforme, uniform
yabe — llave, key

Please take note that these are just some of countless examples.
However, there are also false friends between Spanish and the native languages. False friends in linguistics mean that two words or phrases exist in, say, Tagalog and Spanish. But they could mean different things. For example, the local term syempre (which is used not only in Tagalog but is used in Chavacano, Cebuano, Ilocano, and Hiligaynón as well) means "of course" to local users. But it means "always" in Spanish. (Siempre lava tus manos. Always wash your hands)

When Filipinos say siguro, they want to send the message that "they’re not sure." In Spanish (seguro), however, it denotes certainty, surety, security, or stability.
Kubeta is a Tagalog word which means toilet in English. But it was derived from the Spanish word cubeta, meaning bucket..*hmmm sounds like fun ei, KeithAE*>

Anyway, the Tagalog and Cebuano term for a movie villain or antagonist is kontrabida. But the word originated from the Spanish contra vida, which means against life.
We use "di masyado" to mean that something’s not enough or not much. But it originated from the Spanish demasiado, which means the opposite of the local definition (too much)!

Hilariously, leche is the Spanish word for milk, but it has a very demeaning (and I do mean demeaning) connotation in the local Philippine languages. (D’you really wanna know what it means? Well, you’d have to ask me this first: “come again?”)..haha :D

Even the popular colloquial term "coño" is greatly misunderstood. It is loosely defined as someone who is an elitist snob. But in Spanish, it refers to the female reproductive organ.

Wouldn’t you agree that all Filipino languages are Chavacano also?

reference:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_in_the_Philippines

THE HIT LEAST (A Rundown Of My Beloved Philippines Riveting Poll ''Lowlights'')

What's keeping the country amused and riveted after the elections? Read on!

1. WILLIE REVILLAME THREATENS TO QUIT IF ABS-CBN DOESN’T DITCH THE BUZZ HOST JOBERT SUCALDITO FOR QUESTIONING THE INTELLIGENCE OF WOWOWEE CONTESTANTS.
-Throwing a tantrum on national TV? How old are you again, Willie?

2. CITING IRREGULARITIES IN POLL RESULTS, JC DE LOS REYES TAKES BACK HIS CONCESSION TO NOYNOY AQUINO.
-Keeping your mouth shut is must-learn life skill.

3. MANILA ARCHBISHOP CARDINAL GAUDENCIO ROSALES PRAYS FOR THE COMELEC.
-Because the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

4. MAR ROXAS GETS IRKED BY RIVAL JEJOMAR BINAY’S POLITICAL AD, WHICH INSINUATES THAT HE’S PRO-GMA.
-Look out for some last-minute mud-slinging.

5. SEVEN LANAO DEL SUR TOWNS FACE POSSIBLE FAILURE OF ELECTIONS.
-It’s just part of the long-running "Let’s Give Mindanao a Bad Name" campaign.

6. THE COUNTRY’S 15TH CONGRESS IS BOUND TO BE STAR-STUDDED-WHAT WITH LANI MERCADO AND LUCY TORRES IN IT.
-Shall we give them the benefit of the doubt?

7. THINGS START TO GET UGLY IN THE JEJOMAR BINAY-MAR ROXAS SMACKDOWN FOR THE VICE-PRESIDENCY.
-They might as well be in a boxing ring.

8. JEJEMONS AND NON-JEJEMONS ALIKE GIVE NOYNOY AQUINO SUGGESTIONS ON HOW HE SHOULD RUN THE COUNTRY.
-Isn’t Democracy beautiful? (Dear Noynoy, click this link when you encounter jejemon lingo.)

9. THE MARCOSE'S ARE A-OK WITH AN AQUINO PRESIDENCY.
-Hmmm, this should be interesting...in a telenovela sort of way.

10. TV NETWORKS GO ÜBER TECHIE WITH THEIR ELECTIONS COVERAGE-USING iPADS, HOLOGRAMS, AUGMENTED REALITY, AND TOUCHSCREEN TVS .
-Why the sudden urge for gadget-dependent theatrics?

I'd Rather Have Few Friends Who Are True and Sincere, Than Many Who Are Fake and Backstabbers

It's not usual for me to post hate-blog entries, and believe you me; I'm very relax when I'm angry. Its just that some people are really getting into my nerves that i just can't help but to express it.

Statistically i can prove all the suckers against me that they haven't gone anywhere in life. To them, I go; "SCREW YOU." Some of them are "friends" from yesteryear's and yesterday, doesn't matter. "THE'Y ARE NOBODY TODAY, THE'Y WILL NEVER BE ANYBODY TOMORROW" ..Deep inside you know and i know that i've been all-out and nice to you so.."SCREW YOU" again and again anyway.

My Post-Election Blog Entry

Yesterday, I went to work on a cab and as luck would have it, I was able to have a sensible conversation with the cab driver who won my respect for his demeanor, intelligence and broad understanding of current events. Assuming it and confirming to him that I'm Filipino, he asked me about the my country’s economic state and we exchanged viewpoints about it.

The conversation brought us to the current plight of the common Filipino. He asked me if I believe there’s hope for my country to which I replied optimistically. I further added, it’s not the question whether Filipinos will be able to rise above poverty and other problems that people like us belonging to the third world is really up against with: it’s the decision and commitment to take responsibility for that decision to rise above the adversary.

Later in the day, my encounter with the cab driver awoke my awareness on the current hot news: the election or should i say on-going elections in the Philippines!

In the Philippines, if Holy Week is an event looked forward to by the predominantly Catholic populace, so much more do with the elections. Well, i don't vote, and not interested about it coz i lost trust in the integrity of our electoral system long ago thats why this post came in too late i guess, thanks to you Mr. Uncle Cab Driver Man! ..at least i got something to blog about :D

Political election candidates in the Philippines, and probably everywhere else on earth, position themselves as the only hope of the people who’ll vote for them. For those who believe in the salvation through a divine being, if many prayers were yet unanswered, what more is the guarantee that these mere mortal politicians will deliver? Has it not occured to anyone of us that the socio-economic salvation we yearn for is in our hands and not in these politicians?

I find it quite revolting to see political campaign ads that subliminally, if not blatantly, express that we owe these shameless motherf*ck*rs whatever convenience we have and be grateful for having whatever hardship we have and not getting it anything worse! This makes me wonder how these people who should walk without a respectful countenance get to have a sound sleep at night, if ever they get to and their conscience not bother them.

Now that the elections is coming to its end, i hope that Filipinos, and maybe other nationalities who suffer the same plight, have exercise their power to vote properly and wipe away these animals in human form out of power.
I recently discovered why Filipinos have the mentality that foreigners, particularly Americans, are the hope of the Philippines: we always have a silly election slogan that goes “Vote Wisely”. People are looking forward to vote for a political election candidate who bears that surname!

We'll be or should i say have a new President-elect, i just hope his sister wont act as the devil's advocate behind his back once he starts office at the Malacanang Palace..

God bless us Filipino's .. God bless The Philippines!