letter to my son Victor Paulo on his 14th birthday

I miss you. You are a young man now and I know that this is the time where you are looking at to explore what life has in store for you. So there isn’t much time for dad or parents anymore. But still I miss you. I’m so proud of you. I’m excited about what God has in store for your life. I see so much richness and future success for you. There is nothing you can’t do. The world is your oyster

Setting aside the multiplicity of talent that God has blessed you with (which is quite substantial), it is who you are that I love. You’re sensitive, honest and a deep, independent thinker. You love God with all your heart and enjoy praising him. Try to never lose that because it will be your light at times of darkness. Try to remember to pray daily. Those prayers will be fuel for your life and give you on going communion with Him. Most importantly; when you make mistakes, never be afraid to admit them, apologize and make amends to people who you have wronged.

It has been an honor to be your Dad. I will always be here for you no matter what. Everything that I have is yours. You don’t owe me anything. It is I who owe you the best start in life that I can give to you, then God will make up the difference. I have many successes in raising you and many failures.
Over the time I haven’t seen you; I have a lot of time to think about my failures. Most of them are pretty common and forgettable. But there is one I need to confess. I hope that you can forgive me. And I pray to God that none of it finds any negative residual effect in you.

A friend of mine had a baby son recently. I called to congratulate him. When the conversation had ended, he asked me for any advice that I could offer him as a Dad. This is what I told him:

“Be sure to love his mom to the best of your ability, honor her with all your heart and in full view of your son. Loving his mom is the best gift that you can give your son. Do that and everything will be well concerning him.”

It would be easy to rationalize the high separation rate here in our country by saying:

“People get separated all the time.”

Or

“You shouldn’t stay together for the sake of you kids. Your own happiness is more important.”

HAPPINESS is a choice. People don’t make you happy, you must already be happy when you seek happiness in others, you’ll spiral from one relationship to relationship, friendship to friendship and never finding the happiness that is “real and true.”

Secondly, marriage and parenting is a sacrifice for the greater good and legacy/annuity of your family. When children see you fighting for the greater good (then overcome), they learn humility, courage and mature well. Commitment to family is more important than anything because it pleases God.

I’AM SO INTENSELY SORRY that I failed in this important area. I did the best that I could at the time, but it wasn’t good enough. Because I did not follow the advice I gave to my friend, I failed you and your brother Juan Miguel. I hope that you and your brother can find in your heart to forgive me and continue to love as your father. I love you both and I want only the best for you.

And lastly, as you move forward in your life, work hard in every area. Don’t be anxious for tomorrow – hit the ball that is front of you, work through the areas that are most difficult because it is here in these places that God is looking to grow and stretch you into who He is desirous of you becoming in Him.

I love you endlessly,Happy 14th Birthday Son :)

Dad