Your Failures Do Not Define You

I'm off today..where it was supposed to be on Sunday. so anyway, i'm here stuck in my room tapping my keyboard while listening to Bob Marley's "Three Little Birds" (don't worry, about a thing.. coz every little things, gonna be alright). Yea, I've been down and out lately, frustrated and depressed. well, as they say; "shit happens" and i'm thankful that somehow im coping with it..otherwise i wouldn't be typing this entry that i hope somehow will make y'all say; "ya, there's still sunshine in the gloomy days."



Successful people love to talk about failure. From Ray Bradbury ("You fail only if you stop") to Melville ("He who has never failed somewhere; that man can never be great") and beyond, failure is an old and familiar subject. Oprah talks about her failed stint as a news reporter. Julia Roberts remembers failing to be cast in All My Children. In retrospect, it seems, the famous are all hopelessly nostalgic for the failures of their past. But, in the moment of our own letdown and disappointment, we can convince ourselves that no one else has ever failed quite as exceptionally as we have. So, how to change this paralyzing perception?

Think biology. There's a component of the brain, somewhere in the forefront, that is responsible for cataloging all of the things we have tried that have not quite worked out. The brain can then flip through this Rolodex of learning moments to make a split second determination for how we should proceed in the presence of a new situation - whether we should drive on E or wear super-dooper-ultra-mega-baduy outfit on a first date, for example. Picture rats learning to race through mazes in search of cheese, babies learning to walk and talk, newborn birds warbling mating songs. We experiment, apply what we have learned, and try again. From that perspective, are the majority of failures really that big of a deal? Think about it - Apollo 13, with its technical malfunctions and its quick-thinking MacGyver-like crew, was termed; "a successful failure."

Failure is just an intrinsic part of the innovation process - as in the abysmally cheerful refrain of; If at first you don't succeed, try, try again godamnit! For, if you are hard at work on a problem, and are busy discovering all of the things that your work is not, you might finally stumble upon that which it is. Through your stumbling, you may come to understand the intricacy of your subject in a greater depth - or an entirely different light - that would not have been possible had the path been straight and unencumbered. (Hmmm.. sound somewhat like life itself huh? Doesn't choosing that road less traveled sometimes make all the difference?) Think Play-Doh and Post-It-Notes - Play-Doh was meant to be a wallpaper cleaner and Post-It-Notes were meant to be a super-adhesive. Remember, it took Dyson 5,127 prototypes to finally produce a cyclonic vacuum that people would buy, and legend has it that Thomas Edison, in search of a suitable filament for the incandescent light bulb, said; "I have not failed. I have merely found 1000 ways that wont work."

I imagine sometime around the 70th cyclonic vacuum failure anyone would want to sit down and have a frank discussion on whether they should continue or not. So, the other critical component here is believing in ourselves, having the ability to pick ourselves up when were down, and the presence of mind to know when to listen and when not to listen to all of those critics. The FedEx business plan initially received a "C" at Yale for lack of feasibility. Einstein, Darwin, Churchill, and Newton were all told they wouldn't amount to anything. Mary Kay was passed over for promotion - because she was a woman. Louisa May Alcott's family encouraged her to work as a servant.

It is hard, whoever we are, to look within ourselves and feel any measure of success as we attempt to bring to the forefront that which resides inside us. It is difficult to pursue a dream - to slog through its challenges and setbacks - but, back to Bradbury - "you fail only if you stop." Remember: Gertrude Stein submitted poems for 20 years before one was accepted.

Failure is necessary because it is what breeds and rewards perseverance and individual thought. Those who are truly dedicated fight through the failure and rise to the top, and so, in so many arenas, it is the ability to learn from our mistakes that gives us the best product, and it is individual persistence (and standing up and shaking ourselves off) that lets us percolate up through the crowds. There is nothing magical about either of those things. They are both learned traits, possibly involving little more than the minor opthamalogical trick of changing the lens through which we view ourselves.

See, i'm good at giving out this blab's of mine. So take it and i wont mind. Have a good day everyone :D



credits:
"thanks to the Iranian guy (i think his name is Abtin) who sell's carpets at Arab St. for this photo i took a few weeks back."

Kung Pilipino Ka, Basahin Mo 'To (If You're A Filipino, Read This)

"Death to drug traffickers under Singapore law". These words scream to me and every other passenger on a flight from Manila when i came to Singapore 3 1/2 years ago. Right next to "Welcome to Singapore, they were. In RED to boot. Not even 'The Super Clean Country' like Singapore was trumped up to be. But "Death..." And In Red and bolded. These words never came back to existence in my mind until today as I'm typing this entry.

While im not keen in writing grieviance blogs especially when it involves Singapore knowing the country's strict laws on freedom of expression particularly in internet and print media for that matter, i just cant help but tell this story that yours truly and my two cousins have experienced today.

We had heard a lot of good things about Singapore but this is goin to be something different and i assume not-so-new. My wife recently gave birth to our second child so we decided to ask one of my cousin from the Philippines to come here to help us look after the baby for at least a month until my wife gets back to work per se' .. Luckily one of my cousin agreed to give us a helping hand and decided to come here together with another cousin together on the same day and flight.

With visions of bazaars, city parks, lots of greenery and a laid-back but professional atmosphere, we were rather excited. Expectations were running high. The Changi Airport Arrival Terminal-1 was "nice", nice'. Clean, landscaped, airy. They came via XX delayed flight XX from Manila around 09:45am (airline name and flight withheld for obvious reasons)

[Stop!} Due to the nature of the events about to unfold, i choose, for easier writing, to borrow from Keifer Sutherland's award-winning drama '24' and title this section '4½'.

"The following takes place between 10:30 am and 2:30 pm"

Changi Airport Arrival Terminal-1
At this point my cousins were in high spirits. Happy to be in a sub- tropical country! Little did they know what Singapore had in store for them especially my Cousin-1...
They bounce up to the lady at the immigration counter and handed over their passports and immigration forms. Cousin-2 is cleared first, her passport stamped and returned to her. The lady refers Cousin-1 "for routine checking" to a special immigration desk of the hall. Cousin-2, concerned, moves away to baggage carousel. Cousin-1 is escorted by an immigration officer, bespectacled and a gimp (name withheld but we'll call him Officer X), to an enclosed holding area. The room is tiny and rectangular and contains only 3 chairs. The door is locked from the outside. There is no door handle on the inside and there is no window except for a small glass square set high in the door. The glass square contains metal wires. Twenty minutes pass.

Outside, Cousin-2 stands with her luggages. Worried. Pacing. "I'm sorry Ma'am but you can't stay here", she hears. Turning around she sees a female security officer. "But i'm waiting for my cousin. she is still in there", Cousin-2 said pointing at the closed room. "This is a restricted area. You will have to wait outside". There was no arguing with her. Cousin-2 exits.

Enter an immigration officer. Not Officer X. He escorts Cousin-1 to another room. There is a big computer screen on the wall, a keyboard and some sort of pad. The officer lifts Cousin-1's hand and places it on the pad. He is taking fingerprints. First the left thumb and then the right. He taps away at a keyboard, clicks with a mouse and then 'No Matches Found' appears on the screen. Cousin-1 is escorted back to the holding area. Forty-five additional minutes pass.

Cousin-2 is worried. Very worried. An officer comes to inform Cousin-2 that they will not allow Cousin-1 to enter Singapore and that they will detain her. She gets coins and call the Tourism Hotline. They say that they can't help and that it is an immigration matter. She calls up three numbers asking for their assistance, for which she would pay, and for a good immigration lawyer. They deny assistance. One says "get a criminal lawyer. Maybe your cousin has drugs' or partly because shes a Filipina, they suspected her as a prostitute." "She's is NOT a prostitute.. She doesn't have drugs." Cousin-2 almost screams into the handset but to no avail. She wonders whatever happened to the lawyers' code which obliged them to render legal assistance. With no other options, she calls the Philippine Embassy for advice. Their emergency number is unanswered. She is very upset now. A total of 2 hours have passed.

Officer X escorts Cousin-1 back to the counter in the immigration hall.
X: "Why did you come to Singapore?"
C1: "For Holiday, same time i will be helping out my cousin who just gave birth"
X: "Where will you stay"?
C1: "my cousin's house" *pulls out my invitation letter (my name and address also given).
X: "How long will you stay here?"
C1: "1 month hopefuly".
X: "do you have money?"
C1: "yes"
X: "Do you have a ticket?" C1 hands over the e-ticket printout.
x: "How do you intend to pay for your stay here?"
C1: "my cousin will bear all expenses". X reads my invitation letter again.
There is a pause. A long pause. The officer reads thoroughly before her. Another pause.
X: "I'm sorry but you are not eligible for social admittance. We will detain you and arrange deportation".
C1: "What? Why? Where to? When? Why?" I have a sponsor, more than enough money, a confirmed return flight in 30 days and I don't need a visa for Singapore. Why?" she is flabbergasted.
X: "You will get official paperwork and I will have to talk to the airlines".
C1: "Can I call a lawyer and also speak to my cousins. they're waiting for me outside?"
X: "You don't need a lawyer. You are not under arrest. I will see what I can do about your cousins". He escorts cousin-1 back into the holding area. Total elapsed time: 2 hours 45 minutes.

Cousin-2 visits the Terminal Manager's office and insists on meeting him. He listens and lends her his office phone. She tries calling more lawyers but without success. Its Saturday and is even a bigger concern. Plus, it is getting late and all the law offices are closed or closing. She asks the Terminal Manager (name withheld) to see what's going on and if he could lend any assistance. He consents. The pangs of hunger start setting in for both Cousin-2 and me. The only meal was breakfast from a lousy food stall that sell a unjustified ceazar salad which i never finished. Cousin-2 and I have not yet been allowed to talk to Cousin-1. Time check: 12:45pm.

Cousin-1 is back at the counter. The Terminal Manager is now present. He tells that he is in touch with Cousin-2 and that she knows the situation. The officer has consulted with the airlines.
X: "We have no immediate flights. Therefore, we will hold you for few more hours and deport you to country on flight no. XX (number withheld)".
Cousin-1: "What? You mean you will detain me only to send me out of Singapore on the SAME flight I am originally booked to travel on?"
X: "Yes. In the meantime, I have prepared transfer papers for you and this officer (a new arrival) will escort you to another place. You will be more comfortable there". He hands the transfer papers to the new officer and motions for the officer to leave thru a back door.

Cousin-1, who had been uncharacteristically calm throughout the entire ordeal, now became ever so slightly agitated. "I am not leaving this building until you inform me why you are detaining me when I surpass your entry requirements. Plus, I need to speak to my cousins and a lawyer. Why are you detaining me? What have I done wrong?" The officer didn't answer. "I believe I have a right under law to be informed about the reason for your refusal to admit me into Singapore. Why are you detaining me? I have a sponsor here...", Cousin-1 demanded while rehashing a previous defense. The officer whispers to a nearby colleague and then he picks up the phone. Time expired: 4 hours.

Cousin-2 is livid. The Terminal Manager has not returned. She feels helpless. She prays.

Inside, Cousin-1 prays silently too. After a long telephone conversation in a language Cousin-1 did not understand: "We've decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. We will issue you a Special Pass after which you are to leave Singapore", the officer informs taking the transfer papers back from the new officer. The new officer exits. Cousin-1 hides her elation. "What doubt?", she persists but quickly eases up. She wants to get outside to see us. Officer X types up a Special Form and hands a copy to Cousin-1. She is free to go..but not to see us, but to get back to Manila. Her passport was not stamped in.

Tick tock tick tock. Time expired: 4½ hours

The Aftermath

I left the airport and left Cousin-2 there as she was waiting for another friend coming from the next arriving flight form Manila. I grabbed a cab and the driver noticed my stress and inquired. "my cousin had hard time clearing immigration, was denied entry and then sent back to Manila", I said. "It's like that sometimes. You're out now. Just forget it and go shopping", he replies. "Go shopping? Go shopping? Singapore wouldn't get my hard-earned money." They don't deserve it! I would not even send my neighbour's mangy dog here", I vented at the driver. He thought about apologizing. He didn't.

As im typing this, im thinking; should i write an official complaint letter via email to the Quality Service Manager of the Immigration and Checkpoints Authority and CCed it to several other high-ranking public officials who had anything remotely to do with ICA and unlawful detentions. But heck, why would i do that? When i can clearly predict they will just send me back a reply saying : that they will investigate the matter and get back to me. *if thats ever gonna happen*

Bottom line is, "The Immigration and Checkpoints Authority of Singapore SUCKS! yea, you read it right..you SUCK! UNREASONABLE, OVER-CLEVER AND INCONSIDERATE! how could you say a person is a potential prostitute just because the person is a Filipina and sports a sexy outfit? Filipino's are not the only prostitutes here in Singapore. have you seen how many China, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam girls selling themselves as prostitutes in Geylang and Orchard Plaza/Towers as prostitutes?? this does not include your local girls openly offering sexual services on the internet via local escorting websites, and oh..let me not forget to mention *you're beloved* "Ang-Mo's"(caucasian's) who are high-class hookers loitering in 5-star hotel lounge/lobby's. How can you say a person is a poor worker just because that person cannot speak proper English? **mind you, have you listened to your "Singlish" lately?? why cant you call the sponsor, and not have us waiting for nearly 5hours without even letting us talk or see the person you're detaining/holding? Whats the point in paying S$42.00 for a Stamped/Chopped Invitation Letter at our lame-pathetic Embassy?? Why have these poor deportee's be police-escorted to be humiliated even more inside the plane like criminals when they come here for a good purpose/reason?? How can you generally say that Filipinos come to Singapore only to sell flesh or as Domestic Helpers?? The trouble you cost people is time and money..HARD-EARNED MONEY!!! i need not say more coz it might cost me my.. "PASS??".. but yea, go ahead screw me! i know i cant make this stop and no nobody might not have the interest to read this but at least i'll let people know how full of pigshit you are! I've been working here for almost 4years now, i'm a law abiding citizen, i pay my taxes and represent this country in the industry im working, food and beverage/customer service your own people cannot fill that you rely on us foreign workers to take part..this "Thankless Job." ..and this is how you treat us back?! Jesus Harold Christ!!!

A Barely Recognizable Aubrey Miles Cyborg From An Angry Future (Uno Mag/August 2010)

She was one of my ultimate crush back in the days, until today i was browsing through the interwebz, i came across across something that gave me petrified goosebumps:



Aubrey sporting a PMC look with her TM Sig552_SWAT AEG with my good buddy Fritz Mesedilla during an Airsoft Skirmish not long ago in Manila:



Now, the deal breaker. This is Aubrey Miles, after they’ve replaced her with a killer robot that will seduce you before firing eye-lasers to turn you into a smoking heap of cinders in a second. That, or the art director just told her to “look so f**king angry!!! Like you’re ready to eat a bag full of severed dicks, or something.”



.....WTF?!

I Was Born Intelligent, But Education Ruined Me

Cant sleep, been staring blank at my laptop's monitor after having added some wonderful friends over at Facebook. And speaking of which, i posted a shout out about 2 hours ago..a shout same as the title of this entry. Of course some FB friends liked it and some commented, agreed, some negative reaction and for the sake of not flooding my mail thru never-ending threads over discussions, i deleted all comments and decided to blog about it since most of them were asking who made the famous abovementioned saying. Was it the saying of any famous people like Winston Churchill, Amelia Earheart, Manny Paquiao(?!) etc.. or its just said by someone anonymous, for the sake of amusement?

As always, in my quest to share lame-pathetic but rather entertaining one-liners to y'all, here's a simple answer from my ever reliable "facebook-shoutout-guide-for dummies."

-It's a contrivance from an Albert Einstein quote: "the only thing interfering with my learning is my education"

Both phrases mean this:
You don't get smart from school, quite the contrary. School deteriorates your intelligence with it's disorganization and varying patterns. It diminishes your potential with subjective things such as essays that a teacher can mark you down for if they simply dont like you, not based on your merit. In this way, we are held captive by the pen, and belittled by it.

Nuff' said.. Now sleepy, i stay up so late that i have my morning coffee before i go to bed.. *yawns* gonna hit the sack now peeps, I bid y'all 'gnite (or mornin') with love and peace :D

*lights out*

Just Another Random Thought

Well friends, I’ve been saying for a while now that it’s time for a new computer. My first generation MacBook and Acer Aspire 5580 is all I have, and now that both batteries is so gone I can only run it plugged in, the fans are so loud it makes hearing YouTube videos difficult, and I have to use it propped up on aluminum cupcake trays to keep it from overheating, it’s time I make the switch and save these bad boys for traveling. Oh, how I love going through airport security with freaking cupcake trays in my bag.

I will say, as a sidenote, that I have to give huge props to Blackberry. It’s not such a random thing to say. Before the Blackberry, I would’ve never considered getting a desktop. But ever since I got that little destroyer of bus and mrt boredom, I can honestly say it’s taken up 90% of the reason why I’d need a laptop. As I said, big trips, I’ll need something more, but the Blackberry? — heck, smart phones in general…they rule.

It’s such a shame we have to mine gaping pits in pristine forests for their sweet precious lithium, gold, unobtanium, and whatever else they need to run. YOU CALL THIS PROGRESS?!?!?

Anyway. As I’ve said time and time again, I’ve been a Windows guy nearly all my life. Save for my torrid love affair with sink-sub as a teenager, Microsoft has been my company of choice. Even now, I look at it in 360 as a supplier of electro-joy. I personally, don’t have that many grudges against them. No more than I do, say, Linux or Mac or even Starbucks. I can frown at some of their business practices but in the end they provide me with more mirth than murder.

STOP! I just thought of the best band name. Mirth For Murder. Is it taken? Please tell me it’s not taken.

As I was saying, I actually like Windows. But…

When I first got my MacBook, and really gave Apple a chance with OS X, I finally saw what all the fuss was about. The sheer fact that you don’t get errors every time you try to do something, how you don’t have to run a million ad-blocking and virus-smashing programs in the background, how everything is slick and shiny and smooth and just…works. It was really something else.

After some time, however, it’s got me thinking…I was on Apple’s site just a half hour ago and I said to my cat, Chi-Chi, I said, “Man, I could get an amazing PC for the same price they’re charging for these Mac's.” Pretending she replied, “Yeah, but it’s Windows! Don’t do that!” Granted, she’s a dumb cat and doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about and if she ever backtalks me again I’ll put her in a damn cage, in SPCA. in BUT, I said this, “Come on. Windows isn’t so bad. I actually don’t mind it at all.” And it’s true. I don’t. But, the last iteration of Windows I used was XP. Is Windows 7 the jams or is it the hams?

SECOND BAND NAME! Jams For Hams. And they said all the good band names were taken. Pfff…

Kidding aside, I would be getting a new computer mainly to just have a nice piece of hardware for all my creative endeavors, photography post processing coming in first. More space, an actual keyboard and not this wrist-breaking hot-as-sin metal shard I have to use now, a nicer monitor and most certainly a shit-ton more power. You know, a proper desktop. One that I can have on a desk and say to people as they enter my room, “That over there? That’s my workstation.” I’m thinking, ok, I’ve learned my way about OS X for the past few years…I could stick with it, and pay a lot of money for a computer that can pretty much do anything I’ll ever want in the near future except play games. Or, I could give Windows another chance, pay the same amount for a computer that’s even better than that Mac and, get this, do proper PP's, go on-line or no.

Dammit, I don’t know. It sounds like I laid it out for myself, but I have to stress how carefree using Apple’s OS has been. It’s like, literally a whole new world…but, what I’d get for the same price is staggering if I look to a Windows machine. Not to mention that it’s almost counter-culture to get a PC; it’s almost the cool thing to do now, and it could be making a comeback, much like…the 90s. Think of the cool points I’d get when people come over to my house and can’t find the “apple key” on my new keyboard. I’ll say, “Where we’re going, we don’t need keys…”

But we do. Either way, we need keys, let’s not get crazy.

So I’m reaching out to anyone who reads this. What do you have? What do you recommend? Is it kind of crazy to have two computers with different operating systems? Are all the conveniences of a Mac now found on the latest Windows machines? Can you make Macs and PCs talk to each other now (I’m still going to use my MacBook, after all)? Help! Comment!

Then, let’s start a band. My job in the band is to come up with our name. and please oh dear Lord, grant me the wisdom to get out of this financial slum I'm into now."