Barely Legal

So its Sunday again folks.. as always i'm sitting here in front of my laptop clearing out cobwebs from my hard drive and saw this unusual (well, for me) car shop photo that a friend of mine took about a month ago here in Singapore at Turf City..


"Isn't it a bit odd Batman? ...If the owners name is Jack then i should be calling this "Grand Theft Auto." haha,..just my two cents though :) *lol*

At The Supermarket

I was in the supermarket near my workplace here in Singapore buying some grocery yesterday. When i overheard a familiar language on the background,.i told myself, hmmm... i got kababayan's in the house! Two Pinoy guys debating right behind the shelves of fruit preserves and jars of processed honey.

Dude 1: alam mo, hindi nilalanggam ang honey.

Dude 2: nilalanggam rin iyan.


Dude 1: ang orig na honey, hindi nilalanggam. yung honey na may halong asukal, yun ang lalanggamin.

Dude 2: baka ang tinutukoy mo, nagki-crystallize. honey na may asukal, nagki-crystallize, yung orig, hindi. liquid forever. kahit malamig.

Dude 1: pareho din yun. ang honey na orig, walang halo, hindi nilalapitan ng langgam, hindi nagki-crystallize.

Dude 2: [pause] ano ka ba. kung betlog nga nilalanggam, honey pa? e mas matamis yun.

Both dudes leave.. I'm thinking, maybe I should buy a jar of honey and smear some of this shit on my testicles and wait for the ants, see who's right. It's okay. All for the sake of science. Then I'll post the findings of my randomized, double-blind experiment later, just to rid the world of debates like that one..right Pooh?

Whattaman! Great Moments in Goverment Employee Hotness

I was watching news on tv the other day and saw this awesome hot-guy.. cant think of anything so i came up with this:

"DANTES's MOUSTACHE and BEARD BEAUTY PARLOR" featuring 2009 image model Comelec spokesperson James Jimenez



Testimonial:

"I'm very happy with Dante's state-of-the-art moustache-twirling service, beard rejuvenation and scrotum laser-resurfacing, now I have the drop-dead gorgeousness of my idol Dante Varona! Everytime I look in the mirror, I faint! Gosh, I'm that hot! No one will know I'm not actually an Earthling!"

-- James Jimenez , famous Filipino celebrity, teenage hotrob and Comelec spokesperson

Protect Yourself From Office Creeps

Its Saturday, and as usual im all alone working @ 9:19pm.. and all my work is done..so what to do? BLOG! yea, you read it right..and innovate something office-related.

Tired of office politics? Or how your boss fails to recognize your achievements but instead prefers your bootlickin’ officemate just because he’s/she’s a loudmouth smart-alecky? And worst of all, you can’t do a thing about it?

If you had enough, I say, screw em’ all!

Now this i s what i call a real equalizer: a mini-bow and pen!

You get to cream an officemate in the ass without being noticed. That is, if you’re a good pen flicker. So, practice first.

But if you want to be flagrant, aim right at the eyeballs. Hell, there’d be even no need for a bow! Just follow Kurt Cobain’s anthem first before doing it to your boss: “you can’t fire me because I quit!”

Gosh, I’m so evil. Too much office exposure, I suppose…

Meanwhile, In Zimbabwe, People Throw Money In Billions

Receipt for a single dinner in Zimbabwe:

1.2 billion something, OMFG!

This one of the few wonderful things you can see when your country’s financial system is mostly similar to the brown stuff that emerges out of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s sphincter each morning.

At least no prostitute there would ever be called a “10-dollar hooker.” Cheers.

how to be "GOD" in your own normal way

..yes people its wednesday.. and as usual im so freaking bored at work.. (it pays to work in a solitary state of sh*T, in a company run by PANA's ..my countrymen know what i mean, especially the one's working here in Singapore) so ,, tap, tap, tap..(keyboards clicking, and changing tabs..) i had too much RPG (mind you, i enjoyed playing Batman's Arkham Assylum *big shout out to the "man" ..you know who "you" are..for the links and thanks for the cheats and the kick-ass code of imortallity* ... chatting with a close friend of mine talking about our nut-cracking status in our own offices..
so here goes,



my entries title: "how to be "GOD" in your own normal way"

here's the deal, buy a forest. buy (8) eight midget babies every year. be the only non-midget around and raise them to think you're their God.. nice ei?